shock.

i was suppose to be in Cherating, Kuantan with my elder sister and her guy, with my guy! BUT!!! i had flue...and sorethroat, so my mummy didn't let me go. she said travelling will increase my level of sick-ness, and i might even get H1N1...haiseh. so sad. :( it was all so well plannned! but then again, sin will never ever want me to be sad. so, he promised that he'll bring me soon. :D hehe. i love him so much~ can't wait to feel the soft sand beneath my naked feet, and the sea breeze, blowing my hair as if they were dancing, the smell of the salt water...and the voice of the ocean, the overlapping waves....AHHHH! it's been soooooooooooooo long since i have ever really truly relaxed. mmm, i'm so very excited about it. :D haha!

mummy even said, i couldn't drive, as driving causes tension. but i did. i had to. to fetch my brother and sister back from school. -.-" but mummy drove me down to sunway U this morning. why!? they called me up 8 plus in the morning, telling me that they lost MY APPLICATION FORM and ALL DOCUMENTS in relative to it. i was like WHAT?!?! no wonder the offer letter didn't come to me even after one week. o.o she reconfirmed to me that this time they won't lose it, and told me that i can start my classes this wednesday. that moment, i was shocked! my god! my U is starting already? so sooon? but it only felt like it had just started!? my holidays~~~~~~ gone so sooon. :( i didn't even get to go anywhere!! my shopping spree? *pfffft* *sob sob* how can this be?

enough for the whinning, yesterday i received a phone call from, someone. he confessed to me. i was so shocked!! seriously. this time was different from the others, because, instead of sounding like his was usually, this time, he was very angry, and i can feel abit of..mm, lose control? i was right, he told me he didn't dare to call me until he had drank a few drinks. i guess, this kinda tells. but i felt sorrry. i don't know..i shouldn't reveal so much here huh? i know some of you guys know who he is...it's not hard to guess. i respect him, and i don't wanna hurt him, so yeah. this is enough. we'll stop here. :)

i was wondering that day, actually, thinking pointlessly. then something just comes into my head. ever felt like you wanna stay until you see the one you love walk away infront of you with your own eyes, knowing that he'll be heaading home, savely. and that's the end for that day. no more him in your 'that day'? well, i did. i had this feeling before. and it had lasted for almost 2 to 3 years. it's so clear that i can never forget about it. yup! you know who is 'him'. i used to do that everyday after school. you know, just looking at him. my eye sight will go wherever he were. until i saw him went on the vehicle, then only i am able to focus on other stuffs, if not, my eyes will forever be looking where he is. pathetic? stalker? insane? i don't know, to me, it was my own way of loving him, silently. i never asked for any return, never hoped that he will know, i just wish to see him everyday in my life. i always had this satisfy, happpy, warm feeling after sending him off with my 'eyesight'. really. it's like, i'm kinda looking after him. lol. i know this sounds cheesy, but really. it was my own way of loving him, and i had loved him so so so much.

and then, karma happens. now, there is some guy. :) who is doing the same thing for me. not looking for me after school, but always let me hang up the phone first. i had read an article from the internet before, saying that the last one who hold the call will feel kinda disappointed, after all the hung up is somehow like...a decline, reject, or anything you can call it. i know he loves me alot. :) i really do. and today, i was so happy to hear from my mummy, that she finds him a good boy, good guy with clear mind, thoughts, and a good heart. :) i know, he's very happy about this too. :) :) muacx~

if i were given the second chance, i would do the same thing to my secondary 'life him'. :) cause i know now, how great it feels to be loved like that by someone, all thanks to, sin.

love, cong.