给你，和你们的七年。

或许你们连看都不想，
但请原谅我的执著。

七年，
你说，不长也不短。
回忆如此清晰，
那时候的我们，
依然坚信。
但是，现在。
时间的洗礼，
岁月的折磨，
我们还是会像以前那样吗？

我，心痛。
却让懊恼；生气取代了一切。
我不想和你吵，
可你却一次又一次的攻击我。
我想保护我自己。
也要你知道我到底有多痛。
谁，会明白？

我，没有你想的那样坚强。
外表总是光鲜亮丽的我，
很需要你们的肯定！

我不说，
只是不想为难。
我知道，
你们对我的期望。
所以，
我不能说！
我，不能，
像她们一样，
任性地撒娇，
不断的要求。。。
我不能，
我。。。不被允许这样，
只因为，我和你经历过一样的青春！

没有过分的期望，
我静静的忍让，退让，承受所有你们都以为理所当然的。
为的是，
那一份被珍惜的感觉。
可，
我真可悲。
对你们来说，我这，却是无理的奢求。

有时候，
我会想，
如果，有那么的一天，
我不在了。
没有人，再会对你们唠唠叨叨。
没有人，再会对你们说，不可这样，不可那样。
你，是否才会发觉我的存在？
我曾经的付出？曾经的重要？

我，累了。
可悲的是，累的人，仿佛只有我一个。

也许，我真的太在乎你们了，
在乎到，我连我谨所有的自尊都甘心放弃。
对不起，
我不晓得，原来爱你，会造成你的困扰。
会让你反感，
。。。会让你嫌弃。
我想，是我做的不够好，
才没让你们看见。

这些年来，
我努力去做好一个朋友该做的一切，
我似乎没有让你们失望过，不是吗？
我不想有谁认为自己被冷落，
所以，从来，手信一个也没少过。。。

我会时常问你，
钥匙圈在哪？手机雕饰弄丢了？
那是因为，
我想让你们明白我的心意，
而后珍惜它。

可，我对你们来说，应该是一个永远长不大的小孩，在占领地盘吧？
呵！
真可笑。

我不想和你吵了，
是因为，我喜欢你，所以，我又退让了。
你爱怎样就怎样吧。
反正，我已习惯。
反正。。
无论我再这么说，
心，还是抹去不掉你们的身影。
请原谅我的执著，原谅我做的不够好，原谅我的一切。

祝我们。。。友谊永固？
可以吗？
我可以，幼稚一次吗？

我爱听这首歌，已经在很多年前爱上了。
它写出我想说的全部。

世界末日-周杰伦
想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪，
点点头承认自己会怕黑。
我只求，
能借一点的时间来陪，
你却连同情都不给！
想哭来试探自己麻痹了。。。
没全世界好象只有我疲惫。。。
无所谓，
反正难过就敷衍走一回，
但愿绝望和无奈远走高飞。

天灰灰会不会。
让我忘了你是谁？
夜越黑，梦违背，
难追难回味，
我的世界将被摧毁。
也许事与愿违。。。

累不累，睡不睡，
单影无人相依偎。
夜越黑，梦违背，
有谁肯安慰？

我的世界将被摧毁，
或许颓废也是另一种美。。。

p.s//曾经的宠溺，还在吗？曾经的耐心，有留下来吗？我，一直都在啊。。。

love, cong. almost broken.

awful.

i had THE WORST DAY ever!
first, the pasrking sticker darling cind helped me to register..that stupid old hag from the management took it back without returning my rm40! she said i couldn't park there as i don't stay there!! what the fcuk!? why can academic staffs park there then!? they DON'T STAY there, literally i mean. ugh! she even said i TRESPASS?! hello!? you know the definiton of trespassing?! i had the permition from YOU, which is the STICKER okay! grrrrr. i CURSE HER!! UGH!! but it's was never cind or her friend's fault. they were just trying to help me. :) thanks darling! muacx.
second, i broke a cup in my house..:( thank god it didn't cut me!
third, i almost, ALMOST end up arguing with xen just now. well, we came across some sensitive issues. so yeah, but he didn't go mad, for me. :) thanks xen..i love you~
fourth, sin left me alone and went da gei~~ :( :( ...so mean!
hehe. JUST KDDING. ;p
well, that's about it. thanks rald, cind and ying for comforting me today. of course, sin baby too. :) muacx.
speaking of ying, she's leaving tomorrow. :( another one in my awful day list. i'm gonna miss her like crazy!

her bitrthday with sai, chun and tee. o8

yuchung's birthday. 09

qian's birthday. 09


xen's birthday.08
qian's birthday. 08
P&A night. 07
celebration for Moon Cake Festival at Sierramas. 07

i've know her for almost 7 years, but specifically, i only got closed to her during form4. :) really close, i mean.
she was always sweet, caring, nice, kind, and innocent.

overall, she's a darling!
very cute friend, and a very good one.

i gotta admit, i used to dislike her..:P why!? NOT BECAUSE OF HER ATTITUDE. it's because, rhumours has it! yup, rhumours said my ex liked her. so yeah. BUT! those were the days!

who cares?!

i love her so much now! i love her so much until i felt bad even thinking of the past. :(

i hope she forgives me...

ying bao bei, i'm so so so so so so sorry. :(

and thanks, thanks for stepping into my life and being my friend.

it's really great to have you with me, as i grow up.

i remember, how hard you tried your best to put me on stage again, during my Paramount.

you were always so supportive.

what can i give you?

except,

for all the best ying bao bei!
go finish what you're suppose to do, and what you want to strive for.

love, cong.

airport.

飞机已离开机场，
你选择了前往你的方向，
不再迷惘。
忘了我们爱得过往，忘了我给你的伤，
学会坚强。

maybe this one is not that relevant,
but somehow i just feel like saying it.
yesterday, i sent xen off.
was not appreciated...brrrrrr.
whatever.
i'm going to miss him so much!
:(
he kept on telling me he didn't wanna leave..
what was i going to do?
wrap him up and kidnapp him?
nahh...i told him, he's big enough to make decisions.
and he kept quiet..i know he understands.
me, sin, rald, hamo, sai and wen wei was there. ;)
we had macD. :) i ate mcflurry!! ymmmy~
i found a nokia e61 in the ladies cubicle.
xen wanted it for himself,
but i decided to give it back to the owner.
and i manage to.
xen's luggage was overweight, he needs topay like rm3000+, after discount rm2000+
o.o
we re-packed for him. :)
at 11.10?
we sent him off.
he hugged eeveryone.
he hugged me.
without saying anything...
i kept quiet.
maybe too much words..was worthless.
we said everything we could.
he walk down the escalator.
swaying his horse-taled hair..
which equals to goodbye?
and then, he vanishes into the thin air.
haha! no ler, he just went in.

bye xen, take care.
i'm going to miss you.
i hope i will be seeing you next year..
i love you.


love, cong.

mixture.

to my darling cind,

i felt so touched after reading the post.

silly girl! you made me teared.

and of course i love you. you're one of my best friend!! and i really wanna maintain this friendship.

you don't have to hope for me to understand, cause i already do.

reason for your silence.

i'm the fault.

i'm sorry.

i never put myself in your shoes and think for you.

i'm was not thoughtful at all. sin was better. he told me how you'd felt. at least, he guessed.

nomatter what decision you made, you must know, i'll always respect you. and i'm happy for you.

most of all, i really want you to be happy. :):)

i'm sure we will go on and on and on and on...cause i just will keep this friendship nomatter what. :) not only i will be here for you in the past, or now. but also in there future.

so make sure, you'll be there too, for me to be there for you. :D haha!

and hell yeah! i love you more than he does! hahaha. or maybe not...:p

i can't get you the things you want in one day time! ;)

♥♥♥

done with emo. :) :) :) hehe. i should be happy for my girl!! :D :D yup yup! *smile widely* sorry that i wasn't blogging for quite some time. been busy with assignments. ugh!! -.-" finally, i'm done. with one left, which is tomorrow. but it's okay, i'm okay with it. :) this afternoon, i had lunch with yuhmiin and hugo, accompanied by sin! we went pyramid. :) and i guess, this is what we call faith. for sunway is so huge...but then, i get to meet my dear darling, cind. *winks* dot dot dot...:) others, are history. hehe. i manage to get xen's and qian's birthday present! thank god! i hope they like it! cause even i, myself, like it alot~ we'll see, maybe i will post up the photo of xen's present soon. :):) as for qian, it's a tinted lipgloss. ;)

bitching with yuhmiin. :) i hope hugo gets his offer. i'll definitely cross my fingers for him. :):) hehe. after that, i wen to xen's with sin! because i had to hand him his present. ;) we were playing with it. yup! we! me, sin, xen, sai and wen wei! haha. guess what is it!? :D :D

had fun with them. :) was kicking, hitting, biting, pinching them! lol! i have a video to show you guys.

directed by : xen.

idea from : xen.

starring : sai, cong, and sin. :)

enjoy~

hahahaaahahaha! funny? i find it cute, especially when the idea is from xen. :p

something embarassing happen today! :p sin came into lecture with me today. i NEVER, EVER EVER expect Mr.Tee to notice sin's presence! but unfortunately, he DID! using his mic, he ask infront of the whole class, who is sin..and whether we are couples, making fun of us, with words lik e'aiyoor. so sweet, keep talking...' i felt so sorry for sin. :( he came to just keep me accompanied...he did nothing bad to get treated like this. sorry baby. :(:( really. i love you, so much!

the night before, they came and had dinner with me. :) then we chatted at the park for a while. :) i have a feeling i'm so going to miss that boy again. :( haiseh. today, when i leave his place, i hugged him so tight, so did he. i know, he misses me too. :) ♥ bestie besties best friend~ ;D well, that's what i get for letting him bully me for 7 years! haha.

aren't they cute? holding hands together. :)

the day before, i had lunch with cind, sai and sin in macd. :D ....as usual, FUN!

p.s// i so wanna thank one girl. DAPHNE! yup, you!! thanks for the eye lashes. how much issit? i wanna pay you back. please. i did nothing to get those. :) i was so shock and touched when xen pass it to me today...i didn't know expect this. that is very sweet of you. thanks. ♥ muacx. :) :)

love, cong.

i will make it happen.

SPCA?
an organisation to help the hopeless, homeless, animals?!
my fooottt!
LIAR!
i called up to ask for their help for this one poor little dog. it's ass was bitten, and red flesh could be seen.
my heart, got thorn into two pieces after seeing that.
i didn't know what else that i can do except to call for help.
but guess what?!
the gave me a number, and that owner of the number told me he's on holiday,
so i called back, he ask me to call him back after 5mins...
and then....he never picks up again!
what the fcuk!?
that is one life there okay!!!
i felt so freaking bad! but i couldn't do much.
me, my family and sin decided to bring it some food.
but it kept running away when we go near...
we left the food there. but no sign of it eating..
i feel so useless.

and so, i said to myself!
one day, just one day! when i can earn my own money!
I WILL FORM AN ORGANISATION TO HELP THESE POOR ONES!
I WILL MAKE IT HAPPPEEENNN!!
and please guys, you must help me. okay? :)
thanks.

i went KLCC with xen and hamo. :) i wanted to go there to buy a cook book for ben-to. ;) after all, i did promise my brother to make him one. but then, it didn't go as i planned. i didn't make it to class cause my AUNTY visited me. HURTS LIKE SHIT! having it visiting me it's like a nightmare for me each freaking month! urrrh! sin sent me home and stayed by my side all along. :) we watched Devil Beside You together. :)
after sending sin home, we headed to KLCC. got stuck in the traffic. :p oooops! guess what? xen brought his pillow and booster along. he tried to sleep in hamo's car but was OFTENLY DISTURBED BY ME. :D haha!
we had sushi king for lunch! ;) enjoyed~ then we headed to the book shop. my gosh! that bookshop sure sells damn loads of books! but it was so freaking hard for me to look one by one. o.o we asked for help a little, and HAMO manage to find it!! super cute ben-to. but so what? it's in JAPANESE. :( so disappointing....:C *sob sob
xen was being so annoying! he was reading all the mandarin words he saw from the cook book. he did so to prove to hamo that he can still read. so noisy....o.o" then, we went to get xen's hard drive. :) hehe. he told me he would have buy one MacBook for me it i'd be his girl. hahaha!! lol. stupid boy.
finally, we headed to ISTEAN's supermarket. hamo needed to get some crraaabbb. :) :) saw rm149 imported GRAPE from japan! eyes poped out! xen ask me to hold it carefully...hahhaaa. we shopped for groceries..:) so fun! hamo was so darling to get me some chocolate. ROYCE, a japan made chocolate with hokaido's cow milk. delicious~~ :)

got home, had dinner with family. chit chat a little. ;)
i enjoyed~ despite that fact that i'm having period cramp. grrrr.


love, cong.

a moment to wish for.

i think i shall start all over from friday. :p haha. friday, i had my Businness Stats assignment test. and i think i did well. i felt relieved and happy after checking it with the example sheet that Mr. Tee gave us!! ;D oh and for lunch! i had FRIDAY's. :) thanks to YUVA!! he bought me lunch. and we were talking all the day, missing the old days, and looking forward to the future. :) but the worst part of the day was, when my car's battery broke down! sin couldn't start it, rald came back to Sun U to pick me up to sin's house! i was so touched! i didn't know what to say, like saying thank you is not even enough! haiseh. i love you rald, thanks. :) then, we borrowed electric from another's car and drove back to setia alam. yup! daddy ask me to wait at the service centre for him. i arrived, and just told that guy that my daddy is coming! haha. :p so spoilt-brat-ish! sin was with me all the way, thanks so much baby. :):) muacx muacx muacx~ after all that, i went to sin's house and prepared. make up, dressed up. and off we go!

cong and jacqueline. :)

yuva, paying for the bill. :) :) muacx~

MY OH MY! i was stuck in the traffic jam with sin for like 2 freaking hours! it was so so so absurd! i really didn't know the traffic is m'sia can be this bad! now i know. called xen a few times to make sure he's not angry and to let him know that I'M ACTUALLY COMING. :) cheesing called and fooled us. no, we're not coming from penang, and no we're not going to malacca. haha. we set off at 6, *i think, but the reached at 9. o.o almost everyone was there, of course, done with their dinner. *pffft* i enjoyed the whole night. because i get to talk to everyone, even those who i had not seen for so so so long. :( hmmmm. and then i only realise, how much, how disgustingly i'd miss them!! especially my girls, the bitching session... :D haha.

wai, tee, yih, kim, rald and cowwie~

cind, hamo, wen, moko and baby sin. :)

ms.tai, yunxin, ms.tai's daughter, and sai.

they called it the beginner's luck ; i called it the pro's skill. :p haha!

babes. :))

sexy backs, after a year. :) same place, same people, same love. :)


ooops! i forgot, the early birthday boy. :) YUCHUNG!! haha. kidding. happy early 19th birthday! :)

glad that you guys still have the thing from the HL gang. ;)


the family photo, that i ALWAYS INSISTED!

p.s// i recieved a compliment from ms.tai. it's so flaterring. :p haha!

love, cong.

冷落？

曾经以为，
曾经相信，
曾经任性，
才发现， 原来一切都不可以。

我是真的很想和你做朋友。
是我做得不够吗？
还是...
为什么我总是那样的失败呢？
每一次，都想真心的交朋友，尤其在没有了他们的时候。
但，每一次的每一次，
我总觉得， 我还是被遗忘的那一个。

从前的热情，
变成现在的尴尬。

我们...还是朋友吗？

love, cong.

GCE a levels.

.....don't mention.
hatred..
disappointment...
sucks..
i didn't do well in my alevel examination. i thought i was okay, but the result was never what i expected...

feel awfully bad...


love, cong.

Sunday, August 09th, 2009.

G.I.JOE is god damn great! :D i watch it yesterday with my family. we didn't care if it was the first or second row. :) we enjoyed the movie. i gotta admit, Ana's body is super hot~~ i like her more in black hair and glasses though. :p haha.

we had our dinner in Sushi Zanmai. mmmmm~ delicious~~ i love scallops! haha.

just now, i had dinner with xen, sai and another guy, wen wei? *i think. :) haha. it was great. i love spending time with that two dumbos. :p

anyway, he asked me to make this annoucement~

This FRIDAY,
Date : August 14th
Venue : xen's place.
Time : from 6pm.
a party will be held there. :) i hereby call all my peeps to come okay? :) :) let xen know before thedate! pleasseee. he's ordering the lok-lok car. :p hehe.

love, cong.

drunk, so not.

hamo fetch us at 6 plus to NZX town. we'll be having dinner at Fullhouse to celebrate ms.ling's brithday! :) me, qian, ying, hamo, xen, sai, rald, kimberly, joee, ms.ling and her daughter. :) the food there are quite nice, at least they have my favourite! yup, seafood spaghetti! :) but then, a little more salt will be better~ haha. i didn't really take any pictures, because my camera was low in battery! ugh. but no worries! ying capture most of the moments!! :D haha!

after the dinner, ying suggested we should go to her cousin's pub(Touch) for a drink, since it's been so long, and also..she's leaving soon. of course i'd go!! i'll miss her like crazy! on the way there, we pass thorugh yih's house, and qian suggested we should call yih. :) and then, slowly, cheesing, moko, kengloong....all was called. :) oh, chunkeat came too. practically the whole gang was there! i love that feeling, REUNITED again. :) haha. they ordered carlsberg. you know me? i don't really like it, since it's soooo~ bitter. *yulk* so darling ying ordered us a fruit juice alcohol type? i don't what is it, but ying baobei said it's for girls who don't really know how to drink. :) i took blackcurrant! and it tasted just like F&N grape fruit~~ it's soooo superb sweeet! and for that, i was drinking it non stop! big gulps at one time! until realise, i already finish the 3rd bottle. and hell, i was all burnt up. they all accused me that i was drunk. but i was not! i'm just you know...sugarrushed!! HYPER. :) how ofter do i go this happy? seriously...but sorry to all of them. they were so worried of me. xen asked me stop drinking, moko look after me. ying and qian was convincing me to stop drinking and kinda scolded me. :p cheesing, help me out from difficulties. yih ask me to sit beside him, and ask me not to get over..emo? wen, hold me back when i falled. hamo and kengloong and sai and rald, too(they all said the same thing). :) hmmm, thanks peeps! you know i love you guys so much. ♥♥♥♥♥

the worst thing that happened that night? a small arguement with my baby. :( i know he's worried, but i just couldn't stand....*shhhhh* nevermind. :) i'm fine now, we're fine now. i love him! ♥♥ thanks for caring baby! you're not overprotecting me. you just love me too much. muacxxx~~ i love you. ♥♥♥

ying's camera took so many photos! can't wait for her to upload it on facebook. then i can grab it from her. :p ahaha. me and qian left at 11.30. i felt so uncomfortable on the way home. m yhead was aching, and i felt like, something it's stuck in my stomach, like i wanna get rid of it by vommiting it out~ errrrr. am i drunk? NO! i still know what i was doing. the minute i reach home, i rushed to the toilet, sat infront of the toilet bowl, and......vomit. -.-" i felt way much better after puking. then i called sin, whilst lying on the floor with lens on, makeup on...i was so tired, my eyelids...so heavy....

2am! i woke up, found myseld fell asleep on the floor. and what's worst?! my room had no electricity!!! i don't know why! dark and hot!! GRRRRRR. i used the light on my mobile, to take off my lens and makeup. and then went to shower...feeellllsss so great that the hot water droplets rush down my skins...hmmm. i wish i could stay longer in there. after changed, i went to my sister's room. weird huh? mine is without electricity but her's was. -.-" called sin.♥.:) talk for a while, and then fall alseep again.

this morning when i wake up i found both my hand hurts now!!! i don't know why! i told mummy, mummy said...that's was happened when you're lack of blood. :( :( i'm gonna be a good girl from now on...just please, i don't wanna suffered from this anymore. :(

ohh. these?! haha. i camwhoored whilst waiting for hamo. :p ~ ♥

p.s//i was haunted in my dreams again...this is the *th times...it just can't stop conquering my dreams.. this time...i...felt into it, again..like always...

love, cong.

3am in the morning.

i was awake by a call yesterday night, 3am, if i was not mistaken.
i was in the middle of my dreams, even after i recieved the call.
not until, he called out my name, frustrated. then, i was fully awake.

he voice was in pain, i can tell. in anxious, annoyed, disgruntled...
but there was nothing i can do except to comfort him.
and that, wasn't what he wanted.
on that one moment, i feel like hanging up..
so that i can runaway from all the overwhelms.
it's too much...i'm drowning into his emotions ; i'm sinking with his promises,
but i didn't,
i know he needed me to be there, even though it's pointless.
i kept quiet through the whole conversation.
thinking,
and then, the question of century popped out.
silence answer the question.
i was muted.
along with that, came noises. noises that i never thought i will hear.
and i'm the reason for it.
silence again...i was too weak to say anything.
he stop and ask again. and then the whole scene repeated.
still, all i have was silence...
time is what we have to blame.
not you, not me, nor him..
sorry.

if there's one thing i must say, it will be, 'nothing is impossible, but now, it is.'
all the best.

love, cong.

from gerald, to everyone.

Next Saturday, 15th of August!! SUNWAY LAGOON!! who's interested text him!!! okayy??? :D :D
be there by 11am! :)





love, cong and rald.