in loving memories of , my dear brownie♥♥♥

today is a long day for me,

honestly, i don't have the mood to blog.

but i had to.

this pain, is excruciating.

i lost one of my love ones,

and ..he had been with me since 1999, almost 10 years.

i still remember when i first got him,

i didn't wanna attend cosmotots because i was so eager to spend time with him.

he slept at my mummy's toilet.
he was still so young that time, so cute, so small...

and then he grows,

fierce, but still cute.

i can still see how he runs, he hops like a rabbit, with his fluffy short legs.

always makes me laugh so big.

10 years, flew by so fast.

i never realise it before it hits.

he watched pongo left us, he watched fifi left us, and simba too.

he watched felix joined us, jojo joined us, jackjack joined us, rufus joined us, and finally the last one he'd see...phumbaa.

he watched me, got in a relationship with my ex, then breakup.

he watched how i met my gang...

he watched we move to our new house. that time, he didn't wanna leave our arms, although usually he only stays like a minute there. .. he was afraid,

afraid that we will abandoned him...

but now,

why?

why did he abandoned us?

.....

i really don't know what to say,

memories seem so little now.

but i know, it's just burried in me.

inside, deep inside...

i saw him growed.

young till old,

hyper till weak,

happy till grumpy...

everytime after i walked him,

his legs will shiver, just like the old ones.

i had took good care of him this 10 years,

of course, this two days too.

i saw it, with my own eyes,

that he had growed so weak...until he couldn't walk anymore.

laying down there, the whole day.

just like any old ones, he lost his self control,

he'd pee as he's laying...

but yet, he called for us, like as if, he didn't wanna do so, but is left with no choice.

i saw him gasping so hard for air...

saw him lost his breathe,

saw him look at us for the last time,

i touched him for the last time,

i know, my hand couldn't let go of his soft fur..the texture..that had been with me for so long..

slowly...he stop breathing....

stiff like a stone..

but then, he was still cute to me..

just like old times...

although i've been through this so many times,

but the pain..never goes..it's still so..so...hard..

i miss him....

so much...

i wish, i could hold him in my arms again...

walk him again..

i just wish so badly he can come back...

i don't wanna lose him....at all.....

brownie...i love you, forever. you'll always be in my heart...

i just wish, you'll get a better life for your next one....i love you so.

may you rest in peace.

p.s//i could see it walking away from us...emotionless. like the old times when we walked him....accepting the faith that we didn't want to..

love, cong.