urge

who's drawing? guess??

xen's. :)

oh. the green thing on the left/right side (whatever. -.-'), xen says it's the thing that is born in every girl's brain. it feeds on the brain, that's why you have headache sometimes. he said i never had headache, because that thing died as i was born. why?

i was born brain-less. -.-"

it's 7.46 am now, i can't fall back to sleep, after dropping my brother to school. i can see their excitement,

i wish i could feel the same.

i used to. every new year, where school starts, i always feel excited.

but not anymore, not even when i was in college or uni.

that feeling was long gone after i left high school. i wonder why.

it's drizzling outside, the best weather to sleep. especially when it drizzles in the morning.

i had the sudden urge to blog on such a weather, don't ask me why.

i'm counted as 20 this year, in 2010.

i wonder what i have done so far, in my 19 year life.

come to think of it, i didn't do anything great.

it's always just, enduring, tolerationg and adapting.

yet, i feel so easy about it.

i ended up hating changes. which is not good?

sometimes, i hate myself so much, that i really felt like disappearing. like, really.

especially when i'd hurt someone i love, someone who i never wanted to hurt, if it's the last thing i would do.

the cause? my impatience..and even, selfishness sometimes.

hence, my new year resolution?

i want to be a better person. seriously.

that's all i ask for, and all i wanna do.

i don't wanna hurt my family, my friends or the ones i love, no more.

for them, i would and will try my best. ;)

it's so greyish outside,

i miss wrapping myself in a jacket, sitting beside the huge window, looking outside and kept wandering..,

my thoughts will be anywhere they wanna be,

if only i could turn back time,

that's so much i need to do, and change.

or even riding in a car, while it's raining outside, and i could see mountains, trees everywhere.

the highway will look so delicate as compared to the huge forest,

i love to do that, since i was still a small girl.

it makes me feel great.

i'm a boring person, i guess.

i will change.

sorry for what i've done.

p.s//i'll be reading the Twilight series again. :) it's the only way for me to know, and remember that Edward does exist somehow, somwhere. Wuthering Heights? it's so sad, right at the point when i know Catherine died, and she will never able to be with Heathcliff. :(

*Bella: ‘Look, I love you more than everything else in the world combined, Isn’t that enough?’
Edward: ‘Yes, it is enough. Enough for forever.’

love, cong.